I've had a very traumatic day today.
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For those of you that don't know I had to go to the Hospital today for a
CT Scan.
Now I got to the Hospital was taken to the changing rooms, put on a gown and within a few minutes, a nurse came and got me.
She helped me onto the scanner, put pillows under my head and a wedge under my knees to make me comfortable. All great so far, then the fun began or not in my case. I've told you before how I absolutely abhor needles. Well to have the Scan, they wanted to set up a drip of contrast dye which is pumped into you while your having the Scan. I warned this poor Nurse how bad my veins are and she tried to be gentle, but lets say after numerous attempts I ended up in tears. She said she'd stop if I asked,
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but as the dye makes the scan more detailed I let her have one more go. Thankfully, she got a vein in the back of my hand on that last attempt, which they flushed with Saline first, as they didn't want to start the dye and the vein collapse, I felt the Saline going in, so they then attached the drip. Then the Scan began, the Nurse came back in about Half way through and said that they were about to start pumping the contrast dye through and I would get a hot feeling first in my head, then throat, then through my body. It actually feels like you've wet yourself. Its the same feeling you get when you have an
Angiogram done.Anyway all went well Scan was completed and again the Nurse was so kind, helping me sit up and making wait before getting up. She then took me back in the waiting room, where Mick was waiting and he knew by my face something was wrong and of course he knew and said "Needles", where I nodded and promptly burst into tears. What the poor people in the waiting room thought I have no idea. We left the Hospital and Mick took me into a local Supermarket for a cup of Tea, can you imagine me sitting in the Cafe, drinking Tea with tears pouring down my face. When we got home, Sandra one of the Cardiac team rang to say she was going to pop into see me this afternoon, which promptly set the flood gates open again, so we decided that it would be better if she didn't come today. Mick has since rung her back and explained exactly what had gone on today.
I am not normally like this, it's normally the stiff upper lip, but I think I've been worried by what is happening, I'm not sleeping very well and I just don't feel right and I certainly don't look right. I just want an answer one way or another..
Sorry to be full of gloom, but just wanted to get it all off my chest.
On a lighter note, I took these pictures of my big baby Merlin this afternoon having a snooze. Notice all the dirt on his nose?. He's given me lots of wet slobbery kisses today.
I did manage to sort out a tiny box of miniatures late this afternoon, I'll be back later with some pictures...
36 comments:
Oh Debbie what a horible afternoon you have had. I hope you are feeling calmer now.
Merlin looks adorable, I'm sure his sloppy kisses make you feel a little better.
Poor Debbie! I hate needles, too! But the worry you've been going through has just compounded that fear of all of it! I'm so sorry you are going through all of this and hope they can figure it out soon with no more needle sticks!
Jody--sending prayers your way.
Reading all these tears I am sending a lot of BIG HUGS from still wintery Poland! Hope you will soon know what went wrong and they will help you with it!
Debbie, I wish you the very best with your health - crying is fine!!
Our animal friends seem to understand our crises - wet slobber is good for us!
Better to be teary eyed than the alternative where you jump off the table and run screaming down the hall, gown flapping open, showing your bare backside to the world. You chose the more prudent of two very normal reactions.
Debs better to let the tears out than bottle them all up. You have had so much stress lately you needed that cry. ((((( hugs )))))
Fingers crossed they didnt find anything.
Lots of love
Debie xxx
Oh Debbie, what a dreadful day you have had. You have got so much to cope with at the moment. I'm sure Merlin must comfort you, what a beautiful boy he is. Love Jainxx
Aww Debbie, I know the dye you mean. I had to have a truly horrid scan years ago and they used the dye, I know about that horrid hot feeling going around your body and then you want the loo and a needle going into a back of ones hand is not at all pleasant! The Doctor's always have trouble actually finding my veins, and repeated attempts of needle digging is no joy!
I know when I've had to undergo a lot of tests etc., sometimes it all gets a bit too much. Once you've had a chance to settle and clam down I am sure you'll feel better than you did.
Thinking of you! :o) That soppy old dog Merlin must be a cheery sight for you all. :o))
Michelle xxx
Medical procedures are no fun and this one sounds downright awful!
I think you've been very brave with all that you've gone through. I would be crying too...actually, crying is very healing to the body and soul, and a worthwhile indulgence.
Sending healing thoughts, virtual tissues and gentle hugs from California...
Kate
Debbie- if it makes you feel better, when I had skin cancer and had to have the scans done to check to see if it was gone I cried and cried in the waiting room, in the scanning machine, on the way home. I am sure people thought I was a bit off also, but everyone has a breaking point. I would think there is only so much stiff upper lip about needles that one can muster. You are completely normal to react this way. I wish we could all rally around you and give you lots of hugs. Praying for some answers from this scan for you♥
You poor darling Debbie. And why should you be sorry or embarrassed you had a cry, you are entitled!! And indeed how much more dignified than Karin's alternative ;)
So difficult for everything to be so uncertain, I hope this will result in a very positive outcome. Merlin looks very worried about you, such a big sweet heart!!
Oh Debbie, I am so sorry about the challenges you've been going through.
On the happy side, Merlin is adorable-- such a handsome boy!
Hugs,
Jill
Dearest Debbie, tears are not a weakness sign. More if they come from a woman like you.I'm really so sorry, I cannot explain. I wish I could do anything to lift a bit your mood. Hopefully after this torturing session they will know what's wrong and everything will make sense. A big big hug Rosanna
Poor you Debbie, I hope they can sort you out quickly, this is so tiring and worrying for you all. Merlin sure could cheer anyone up with that wonderful friendly face couldnt he, what a treasure! Kate and John xxxxxxx
I am so sorry...
I know what you mean. I had suffered 8 or 9 CT Scan too in the last 4 years(last 2 in the last month), some with contrast dye and it is not the best sensation, you are right. I think that is not only the needles (important of course), or the tests...it is worse not to have an answer yet, it is that you seems very tired, it is all the doctor and hospital appontments. But the answer will come and doctors will help you. Tears are good, do not worry. You are a very strong woman, always optimistic. This is a great medecine.
I am sure that everything will be in the correct way soon and starting to solve.
A huge, huge beso (kiss)
All of us are with you
Oh Debbie...try to keep smiling..you've got a lot of friends out here who are all thinking of you! Mini hugs,
Linda
Oh, Debbie, I am so sorry you're having such a rough time. I pray that they can find out what is causing the water retention.
For a minute there I was thinking you had an allergic reaction to the dye. Thank goodness that didn't happen.
Ahhh, Merlin is so SWEET!!
Sending you a big hug
xoo
Debbie, I really don´t know waht to say. From the bottom of my heart I send you a great hug
Ana
It's good to cry Debbie and when ever you feel like it you should.
You cant always be have the stiff upper lip and everyone needs to cry. Im sure nobody in the waiting room thought twice about it because they will cry themselves too.
Sometimes it can be the kindness of others like the nurse helping you that bring on those tears and also the traumatic time beforehand with the needle.
I cry all the time, lol. I even cry when i'm happy or remembering things i'd long forgot.
Soppy old me!
Lots of love to you!
Nikki xxx
Oh Debbie I think it was a perfectly normal reaction and you shouldn't feel embarrassed about crying in front of all those people. You've had a lot of stress recently with your health, and having a good cry was probably the best thing to do.
For me it is fear of anesthetic (12 years ago), I wasn't worried about the needles just what the drugs would do to me.
Your doggy is lovely (and probably a whole lot better behaved than my crazy dog).
Good luck with the results of all this testing - lets hope they have a diagnosis and effective treatment for you.
DollMum
xxx
There is nothing like a big slobbery dog to bring on the tears and to make them go away...
You deserve a very BIG cry and lots of big slobbery kisses too!
I'm glad that Mick told Sandra to stay away today. You need time to recover after your no good very bad day!
Debbie, please don't worry about the crying. It is perfectly natural when someone is being mean and sticking you with needles! Next time tell them that you are going to pinch them really hard every time they miss the vein. Maybe that will make them get it right faster. Seriously, I hope that the doctors find out what is wrong and fix it soon! My thoughts and prayers are with you.
As Gandalf said...not all tears are bad. I, personally, find them to be rather cathartic. And if I had that big lovable mutt I'd be hugging him and crying into his fur. Isn't it amazing how animals know when you're not feeling yourself and are just "there" for you?
This, too, shall pass...hopefully without anymore more flippin' needles.
Tabs
Debbie! let it all out! *huggles*
*fingers crossed for you*
Big hugs! What an awful day. :(
I hope you soon find out what is going on.
(((((()))))) Debbie,
Hope your feeling better this morning.You cant be strong all the time,sometimes you have to let some tears out , its a great stress reliever you know and I bet you felt better for it.
I hate needles too so can only imagine how you must feel.
Merlin is just gorgeous, I bet a cuddle with him makes you feel better too !
julie xxx
Oh Debby, sometimes I hate it that English is not the language that I speak, I want to tell you a lot of nice words!!!!
Take care and give Merlin a big hug, he is lovely
XX Sylvia
I hope what you went through won't have been done in vain and that will at last know what is wrong with you.
Good luck !
Geneviève
Amica also sends slobbery, the dogs feel fear and tears. Love of animals is the best love.
sorry my english.
Amica also sends slobbery, the dogs feel fear and tears. Love of animals is the best love.
Debbie ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
An awful day to say the least, to say you have had so much on your plate is an understatement!!!
I think a few tears or even a gallon or two are needed sometimes......never nice, but needed. Merlin is beautiful and my hubbs Martin loves him...so if you ever need a doggy sitter....lol
love
Julie
xxxxxxxxxx
Poor Debbie! What a horrible day! You really need a bit of recovery time before more health talks. I'm glad Merlin was able to cheer you up a bit - he looks such a love. Hugs for you.
Loadsa luv & big hugs, Debbie.
Mags
x
Debbie what an ordeal!I am sending you big hugs.My daughter had a heart operation where she had to be awake whilst they kept stopping and starting her heart(she is in her 30's and had wolff parkinson white syndrome).She is so scared of needles she was absolutely serious when she said she would rather slit her wrist and let the blood drip out than have a needle-yet she was brave enough to have that op!
As for crying,it set me off just reading about your ordeal!Carolxx
Debbie im so sorry your having such a bad time i hope your feeling much better now
big hugs Rachel s.wales
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